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Sisters Act: Johnson to Investigate Johnson

Dear Sister Frances,

First I must thank you for a job well done as chairperson for the elections that brought me to power.. Thank God that that Oppong boy did not win which would have dashed my hope of ever having a chance at the presidency again. Your rewards might have not been great but as long as I am president of Liberia, ask for whatever job or anything you want and it will be yours. The Liberian people will make all the noises they want but all of those are coca cola noises. Most of the noise is triggered by hunger or some frustration from the hardship so give them a bag of rice, a car or a job and it is done. The Senate will come in and do their part but it is the end that matters. Please rest assure you will be confirmed; old man Boakai will take care of that or he’ll bite the dust. The Snowe’s impeachment and Nyanebo’s suspension should warn any of those boys that the Iron Lady is no joke.

But Sister, the main reason for my letter is to request yet another help, a small one. This Knuckles boy is an embarrassment but we have come a long way to let him suffer alone. He is really like a crab that cannot be easily wrapped without a paw sticking out. After that mess with the girls on the photo which was circulated, you will think that boy will know how to cover his butt but no. He is not like Harry who knows how to operate. But anyway, another mess is out. Everything is outside now and the pressure on me to investigate is mounting daily. The international community is watching closely to see what I am going to do. A probe into the matter is the only option because it will not just go away. Those other FrontPage Africa boys will get some of the kanyan pepper but that is not the focus now. The way those emails have gone out in the open full my mouth. Who else can I trust to deliver us from this shameful situation besides a former election commission chair and a former justice minister - someone who has been there done that?
Again, your appointment will stimulate a lot of controversies especially with these politicians thinking that it is like mandating the gas station owner to investigate the oil company but don’t worry. I have been in opposition and in the trenches myself and know how to counteract and handle hungry politicians and other noise makers. Do you hear about John Morlu again? I cook his soup. Or the other little boy clamoring about war crime court? Don’t forget now, this is the Iron Lady. You can be Quiwonkpa, Doe, Taylor, or Woiweyu … where will water ever carry rock? I got wild mouth Fahnbulleh, crooky Sawyer and his son Commany in my corner so their mouths closed. For Tipoteh, cheapoo, Oscar…, let them be there and whine.. No one listens to them anymore. Oppong that lil boy; Brumskine is just a distraction so I don‘t worry about two of them at all.

On another serious note, I will need your help to handle this investigation. You know what to do. You did the hardest part and that was the elections so I have no doubt on how you can navigate these waters to see big sister remain a symbol of peace, good governance and reconciliation. Remember Knuckles is my son and there is no bad bush to throw a bad son just cover his big butt he exposed on the photos the other day. God bless you yah, sister.

NB: I will say more when you come over because there is a lot more to talk about face to face. You know that it is not easy to restore the harvest the locusts have eaten for all those years but God knows we cannot suffer twice.

Sister Ellen

Author’s Note
After reading through the emails chain purportedly started by Willis Knuckles crystallizing wild spread corruption in government circles (click here) and President Ellen’s response to probe into the matter, I was thinking about a conversation between Mrs. Frances Johnson Morris and Prez Sirleaf prior to her selection as the anti corruption czar. Since I am never going to be privy to such conversation being it electronic, via phone or face to face, I put on my creative hat and kind of imagined what it could have been like. The above is from the author’s imagination and did not actually take place. My intention is not to fill in the blanks but just to evoke a discussion as to why Mrs. Sirleaf will think that she is not taking the Liberian people for a joke by appointing her blood relative to probe into corruption charges that had to do with her (the president). Hope you find this piece of literature not just entertaining but thought provoking.

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